Our Words Have Power: Hot Vinegar or Sweet Honey

 Words hurt. Hurtful words can pierce us to the core, and oftentimes, it can take a lifetime to heal from the damage that was caused. Unfortunately, we can get so caught up in in our own past hurts, feelings, beliefs, and convictions that we project these things onto others. Our words spew like hot vinegar into the hearts and minds of those on the receiving end of our own annoyance, pain, and exasperation.

In my life, I have seen the horrific destruction of alcoholism play out in the lives of family members, friends, and even celebrities. I believe someone’s first drink of alcohol can lead to a dark road of alcoholism and all the ugly that entails. Although I wasn’t someone who drank significant amounts of alcohol, I was convicted several years ago that I need to stop drinking alcohol altogether. So I did, and it wasn’t hard for me because I wasn’t addicted to the effects of alcohol. Please know, I’m not saying that with any kind of prideful, ‘yay me’ attitude. Alcohol simply wasn’t a stronghold for me, but believe me there are plenty of things I struggle with on a daily basis – my mouth being one of them!

Unfortunately, my conviction of eliminating alcohol from my life gave way to me harshly condemning others with my words and thoughts because of the choices they made regarding alcohol consumption. The root cause was due to my past hurts, negative feelings, certain beliefs, and my own convictions about alcohol. Today we aren’t talking about whether alcohol is good or bad, but what I am hoping to convey is how and why we communicate our thoughts is just as important as the words we use in doing so. Likewise, what we say should not only align with God’s Word, it should also be encouraging rather than condemning, and full of His righteousness rather than self-righteousness.

Paul tells us in Ephesians 6:4, “Do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.”¹ Although Paul specifies children in this verse, I believe it can also be applied to our spouses, friends, strangers, or anyone else we encounter. Our words can build up or tear down.² They can spring forth life or lead to death.³ Are the words we’re using life giving, edifying, and grounded in biblical truth?

‘“As John Newton said: ‘Our natural temptation is to say what we should not say, or to not say what we should say. One is cruel arrogance, the other cruel cowardice, and neither is love.’”⁴

It is also important to remember that God’s timing is different from our timing. The manifestation of His work in someone’s heart may not be readily seen on the surface, but He is working nonetheless. Every Christian is on the same path to Heaven, but we all aren’t dealing with the same struggles and strongholds. ‘“I will judge each of you according to your own ways,’ declares the Sovereign Lord.⁵ I, the Lord, search the heart and examine the mind, to reward each person according to their conduct, according to what their deeds deserve.”⁶ God doesn’t need our help trying to get the splinter out of someone else’s eye, while He’s trying to get the log out of ours.⁷

There are times when our words aren’t condemning, but they can be equally destructive. Scripture tells us that “Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.”⁸ Wow! Gracious words are good for one’s soul and even have a positive effect on health. That’s pretty powerful, isn’t it?

But we have to be careful because on the flip side of spewing hot vinegar, is speaking words that drip with so much honey that the person on the receiving end becomes infested with a swarm of flies that will lead them to destruction.⁹ “If you find honey, eat just enough – too much of it, and you will vomit.”¹⁰ We have to be careful that we aren’t simply saying sweet words that someone wants to hear and makes them feel all gushy inside. What we say should have substance.

Our words should be sweet as honey and full of biblical truth. In other words, we should love others enough to speak truth to them. ‘“As Tim Keller said in a sermon: ‘Truth without love is imperious self-righteousness. Love without truth is cowardly self-indulgence.’ Both are selfish.”⁴ I cringe as I read those words because I have been on both side of that selfishness – self-righteous and self-indulgent. But even more convicting is “everyone will have to give account on the Day of Judgment for every empty word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.”¹¹ Our words have consequences!

The words we speak should be full of truth and power rather than condemnation and condescension. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 13:1-3, “If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.”¹² So, if we are speaking words without both truth and love, we might as well not speak at all. ‘If we are to live consistent with Christ’s lordship in our lives, I need you to show me where I have embraced falsehood, and you need to show me where I have embraced falsehood.’⁴ We must humble ourselves as we listen to what is being spoken in love and truth. “Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.”¹³ You see, as believers – one body of Christ – we are accountable to one another. I to you and you to me, but ultimately each of us are accountable to Christ.

I will leave you with this quote from the late Billy Graham, “Where there is truth and error there is always compromise. Within some churches there is movement to reshape the Christian message to make it more acceptable to man. Just because truth is unpopular does not mean that it should not be proclaimed. Our emotions can lie to us, and we need to counter our emotions with truth. It is far better to know God’s Truth than to be ignorant of it.”¹⁴

Bible Verses and Quoted Resources:

1.  “Do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4, NLT
2. “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths,but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4:29 (paraphrased)
3. “The tongue has the power of life and death.” Proverbs 18:21a (paraphrased)
4.  “Speaking Truth in Love.” Tony Reinke, Desiring God. January 25, 2014. Accessed June 19, 2023. desiringgod.org/articles/speaking-truth-in-love.
5. ‘“I will judge each of you according to your own ways,’ declares the Sovereign Lord.” Ezekiel 18:30
6.  “I, the Lord,search the heart and examine the mind, to reward each person according to their conduct, according to what their deeds deserve.” Jeremiah 17:10
7.  “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” Matthew 7:3-5, NIV
8. “Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.” Proverbs 16:24, NLT
9.  “He sent vast swarms of flies to consume them and hordes of frogs to ruin them.” Psalm 78:45, NLT
10.  “If you find honey, eat just enough – too much of it, and you will vomit.” Proverbs 25:16, NIV
11.  “But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the Day of Judgment for every empty word they have spoken.For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.” Matthew 12:36-37, NIV
12.  If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.” 1 Corinthians 13:1-3, NIV (emphasis mine)
13. Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.” Ephesians 4:25, NIV

“10 Quotes from Billy Graham on Truth.” The Billy Graham Library Blog. March 10, 2021. Accessed June 19, 2023. https://billygrahamlibrary.org/blog-10-quotes-from-billy-graham-on-truth/